So, I am so blown away by the abilities of some people who write stories on the fan fiction website I wanted to make this post because a particular story that I have followed for what seems like forever is one chapter away from being finished and I’m somewhat emotionally unstable haha. This might also be in part to the recent Glee finale and left me in tears! Anyway, the brilliant story that I’m referring to is Straight Camp written by foraworldundeserving. Here is a link so you can read it yourself if you for some reason haven’t been already. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7314826/1/ Also, if you haven’t read The Tale of Nick and Jeff by diirrtylittlefreaks, you should read that too. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7285885/1/. I think this website is fantastic. It’s really cool that people can use their imaginations to expand on what other’s have created. Also, if you care to read anything I’ve written you can go to http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3166032/SmilesLaughing. I haven’t written much and it probably isn’t that great but it was fun to write and I would love if you’d take a look. Thanks guys, go forth and create!

So today, my really good friend and I became a couple. And I’m really happy about it because he’s extremely nice and very romantic and he respects me and is probably the stereotypical perfect boyfriend. But I feel guilty. Only to myself, not to anyone else. I still love the person in the previous post. He barely knows of my existance which makes it a 1 in a million chance that we could be together but I still can’t get him out of my head. The thing is, I don’t want to stop these feelings for him. But now I have feelings for my boyfriend too. I almost feel like I’m allowing him to be the second choice. The backup. And all because ‘what if?’ But I know the ‘what if’ will never happen. Darren Criss’s song Sami sums up word for word my love for him. But I need to let go and give my attention to the guy I’m actually with…

Another Valentine’s Day has come and gone and I’m not bitter about being single. But after re-watching one of my favorite episodes of Glee, Silly Love Songs, today, I remembered something that I wrote a few months ago. I re-read it again and realized that every word of it is still in my heart. The person doesn’t need to be named because I know who he is and that’s all that matters. Every time I see his smile, my heart skips a beat. I could watch him dance forever. I think he’s beautiful.

I knew this day would come but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I like you. I like you a lot. I’ve written to you and you’ve responded twice but I’m sure you don’t know who I am. I know that I probably will never meet you in person and if I ever do, I know that there isn’t a chance that we would ever be together. You know so many people and even more people know you. I know I would just get lost in the crowd. I already have. But now I have guys who like me but I can’t bring myself to like them and actually become part of a plausible relationship because you are always in my mind. Not just my conscience mind but you’re in my dreams too. It hurts every day when I think about how I’m just a dreamer but I can’t shake it away. I will never give up until it’s too late. I keep thinking this feeling will pass and then I will be fine but I’m not sure I want it to pass. My dreams are better than reality even though they make reality hurt. I love you.

“I probably had a yeast infection after that. I mean, I know I’m not capable but just…that would have given it to me. Yeah, it was rough. It was really, really tight, but my ass looked great, so that’s all that mattered.” — Chris Colfer, on his ‘Michael’ jumpsuit